When I came back to CA after my week long vacation home at the end of May, I decided I was going to get serious about eating better and getting healthier.
Starting on June 8th I decided, NO MORE SODA OR JUNK FOOD!
June 8th: 186.5lbs (OH MY GOD! How did THAT happen?)
I was looking fat, I was always tired, and I had no energy!
Not to mention the few small stretch marks that had appeared seemingly overnight! They were and continue to be the main reason I'm finding my willpower. I said to myself: "What the hell have you been doing to yourself?! OH HELL NO!!!"
I set a goal of 160lbs. That seemed attainable. I could get there if I worked at it! I knew I could!
I started drinking water 9 times out of 10, paying attention to what I was eating and trying not to eat anything greasy, breaded or processed as well as using my exercise bike every few days to go between 5 and 7 miles (I increased my stamina by 2 miles in 3 weeks!)
I lost 7.5lbs after the first month!!!
July 8th: 179lbs.
Yes!! Below 180 hurray!!! I was sooo happy....
Then came a nice big bout of depression, fatigue and the normal once a month energy drain that attacks every female.... god sometimes I would rather be a male, honestly. For almost 2 weeks, I lost all my will power to do any cleaning or biking... I ate even if it was bad for me, though honestly I still ignored the soda for the most part, and Im still going strong on the "no cookies and sweets" rule.
Around July 16th, I decided to move back to NY.... to family and friends and.... the sadness that came with the decision zapped the willpower I was beginning to finally win back. After much crying and packing over the next two weeks, I didnt find the time to exercise really... only once or twice.
June 30th: 177lbs
It shows this month huh? I totally slacked off and only lost 2lbs because I wasnt trying. Granted life got in my way.... ALOT. Technically I still have 8 days before my monthly weight in.
I've decided not to wait and put off harder exercises until I move home, thats almost a month away! Plus I might be meeting someone new soon after I get home and settled and I dont want to be this flabby. I did some research and youtube... (Man youtube I love you and I want to have your babies!) Because Im broke I couldnt afford the 10 minute trainer dvds I wanted from Tony Horton at BeachBody so I searched on youtube for a fast, cheap alternative. Simple exercises I could do at home and I stumbled across this gem in the fitness health genre.
Youtube User: DietHealth
They have almost 200 short videos and lots of tips, tricks and advice for people trying to loose a little weight, or overhaul their lifestyle (like me) These people are wonderful, and I've decided to use two of their videos alternating each day and see if I cant knock off a few more pesky pounds!
Im using these two for now:
Abdominal Workout
Buns & Guns! (lol)
(Warning- Dumbells required for the second link)
Plus, exercising gives me the energy I didnt have before. So I can hopefully keep my chin up, stay strong, and not let myself fall off the wagon when I move home. Single life.... is something to contemplate. I would so totally LOVE it if anyone wanted to be my workout partner.... we can compare notes, and.... stuff. Even over long distances!
Wednesday, July 30, 2008
Saturday, July 26, 2008
1am rant
So yeah... Erik... is being kinda a douche today. I know, our relationship now has a termination date approaching, but seriously. I'm still being cuddly and.... considerate of his feelings and everything. The least he could do is be the same.
I knew with Comic-Con this weekend things were gonna be hairy, as in I would hardly see him. (because lets face it folks, hes a geek threw and threw, plus his boss man wants him and the room mate to work the con for a certain number of hours a day). But when its going on 14 hours since Ive seen him (or anyone but the Carls Jr "can I take your order" chick) and he doesnt send me any texts all day... I start getting a little annoyed.
Now Casey shows up, WITHOUT Erik. At 11:45pm. Its only the second day of the con, and he went to the pre-opening night show and wasnt home till 12;30am then either.
So like 15 minutes AFTER the room mate gets home and tells me hes drinking and partying with a coworker (on of the funny guys who are NOT the hired comedians) I think "Oh, ok whatever. Gonna go to bed soon anyway". Erik texts me "You still awake?" To which I reply "Yesh" thinking my cute answer will prompt a response in kind and he'll say hes on his way home.
"Rebeckahs here!" Now, Ive met Beckah. She lives in LA and is like the ONLY little asian cute girl that plays Halo and Call of Duty in this REGION. Shes really nice and she's visited and stayed overnight once.... I like her. So I say "cool." to which he replies "She wants tequilla, but didnt want to disturb you." (you see, she visited for Eriks birthday in april and brought some good tequilla but I refuse to drink that shit and Eriks always been one for drinking buddies. I told him "I have shit everywhere. (Im moving HELLO, there is crap on every horizontal surface, plus dirty dishes and a stinky catbox) Is she going to the live show tomorrow? (at Comic-con) Can you give me tomorrow to clean?" Because females are wierd about their space. I for example can live with a pile of dirty clothes for a week or... well MORE and not care about it until someone MIGHT see it, then I freak out.
So Erik (who has probably already been drinking for a while) says "Dunno yet, Not sure, I dont think she'll care either way." Because Beckah is such a nice chick she wouldnt mind coming over to a messy apartment to play COD at 1am when everyone will have to get up at a decent time to go BACK to the Con tomorrow. Well except me. Not that I even really wanted to go or anything. You know, its JUST Comic-con, and since Im moving back home this would be like the ONLY chance I'll ever have to go..... but I can barely afford the boxes my shits getting packed in, nevermind the actual price its gonna cost to SHIP it all.
So I said "Please not tonight" so we'll see if he brings her back anyway or respects my feelings. I know Im leaving in like 30 days. But I still want to be friends with him and have SOMETHING with him, if we cant be intimate at least maybe we can have friendship? Thats not too much to ask seeings as how ALL of his ex's are still chummy with him and all that.
So yeah. Kinda makes me glad I did more packing today and maybe if hes not too drunk or tired to notice them, he'll trip over my boxes.
So... an hour after he called to ask about Beckah (so it is now 1:30am) he texts me to say "I think I might just stay here tonight with Conor." His co-worker. So, at this point I'm finally putting my head on the pillow and after one aggrivated disguntled outburst I feel better so I text back "okay" and leave it at that. He doesnt text back.. and I had the entire bed to myself. Im left wondering though...
After I told him no Beckah at our place at 1230am, did they go to Conors for more chilling and drinking? Did Beckah spend the night? If she did... did he do anything? DO I really care?
Yes damnit. I care. Im trying to be considerate of him and the 3 years we've spent together. I may be checking out okcupid again, but Im listed as "In a Relationship/Just looking for friends." because I dont want him to stumble onto it and have hurt feelings.
My dad called me this morning and told me I have $350 coming on the 1st. I'm going to UPS in a few minutes to buy 3 more boxes. I only think Ill need 2, but you never know. Then Im numbering and cataloging whats in each box and figuring out how much poundage I have to ship, and trying to calculate that based on how much money it cost Casey to ship his PS3 home a few days ago.
When the money comes in, Im taking just about everything I wont need for computer and traditional commissions and sending in home.
Erik will just have to pay to ship my computer if it comes down to not having enough money.
I knew with Comic-Con this weekend things were gonna be hairy, as in I would hardly see him. (because lets face it folks, hes a geek threw and threw, plus his boss man wants him and the room mate to work the con for a certain number of hours a day). But when its going on 14 hours since Ive seen him (or anyone but the Carls Jr "can I take your order" chick) and he doesnt send me any texts all day... I start getting a little annoyed.
Now Casey shows up, WITHOUT Erik. At 11:45pm. Its only the second day of the con, and he went to the pre-opening night show and wasnt home till 12;30am then either.
So like 15 minutes AFTER the room mate gets home and tells me hes drinking and partying with a coworker (on of the funny guys who are NOT the hired comedians) I think "Oh, ok whatever. Gonna go to bed soon anyway". Erik texts me "You still awake?" To which I reply "Yesh" thinking my cute answer will prompt a response in kind and he'll say hes on his way home.
"Rebeckahs here!" Now, Ive met Beckah. She lives in LA and is like the ONLY little asian cute girl that plays Halo and Call of Duty in this REGION. Shes really nice and she's visited and stayed overnight once.... I like her. So I say "cool." to which he replies "She wants tequilla, but didnt want to disturb you." (you see, she visited for Eriks birthday in april and brought some good tequilla but I refuse to drink that shit and Eriks always been one for drinking buddies. I told him "I have shit everywhere. (Im moving HELLO, there is crap on every horizontal surface, plus dirty dishes and a stinky catbox) Is she going to the live show tomorrow? (at Comic-con) Can you give me tomorrow to clean?" Because females are wierd about their space. I for example can live with a pile of dirty clothes for a week or... well MORE and not care about it until someone MIGHT see it, then I freak out.
So Erik (who has probably already been drinking for a while) says "Dunno yet, Not sure, I dont think she'll care either way." Because Beckah is such a nice chick she wouldnt mind coming over to a messy apartment to play COD at 1am when everyone will have to get up at a decent time to go BACK to the Con tomorrow. Well except me. Not that I even really wanted to go or anything. You know, its JUST Comic-con, and since Im moving back home this would be like the ONLY chance I'll ever have to go..... but I can barely afford the boxes my shits getting packed in, nevermind the actual price its gonna cost to SHIP it all.
So I said "Please not tonight" so we'll see if he brings her back anyway or respects my feelings. I know Im leaving in like 30 days. But I still want to be friends with him and have SOMETHING with him, if we cant be intimate at least maybe we can have friendship? Thats not too much to ask seeings as how ALL of his ex's are still chummy with him and all that.
So yeah. Kinda makes me glad I did more packing today and maybe if hes not too drunk or tired to notice them, he'll trip over my boxes.
So... an hour after he called to ask about Beckah (so it is now 1:30am) he texts me to say "I think I might just stay here tonight with Conor." His co-worker. So, at this point I'm finally putting my head on the pillow and after one aggrivated disguntled outburst I feel better so I text back "okay" and leave it at that. He doesnt text back.. and I had the entire bed to myself. Im left wondering though...
After I told him no Beckah at our place at 1230am, did they go to Conors for more chilling and drinking? Did Beckah spend the night? If she did... did he do anything? DO I really care?
Yes damnit. I care. Im trying to be considerate of him and the 3 years we've spent together. I may be checking out okcupid again, but Im listed as "In a Relationship/Just looking for friends." because I dont want him to stumble onto it and have hurt feelings.
My dad called me this morning and told me I have $350 coming on the 1st. I'm going to UPS in a few minutes to buy 3 more boxes. I only think Ill need 2, but you never know. Then Im numbering and cataloging whats in each box and figuring out how much poundage I have to ship, and trying to calculate that based on how much money it cost Casey to ship his PS3 home a few days ago.
When the money comes in, Im taking just about everything I wont need for computer and traditional commissions and sending in home.
Erik will just have to pay to ship my computer if it comes down to not having enough money.
Thursday, July 24, 2008
Ideas, Ideas
If no one decides they want my rough edged wooden plaque I'm going to paint a picture on it of a snowy pine tree and a single gray wolf. My dad would like it.
Monday, July 21, 2008
Working this week....
Saw Hell Boy2 last weekend, and The Dark Night two days ago. Both were very good. I want to buy them both when they come out on DVD, but I liked Hellboy a little better.
Prince Nuada = AWESOME
On another note:
Im starting to freak out a little. I have a month before I leave and Im going to have to go threw my books, art stuff, and DVD/games and try to sell off some of them. It sucks but I need to cut down the amount of shit I need to send home.
Im estimating the computer alone is going to cost $120 or more.
And this week Im going to get all my clothes, art stuff, books, and DVD etc. together and hopefully get it boxed.... at least mostly boxed.
I only have $41 to buy boxes and tape. So Im going to try selling off some books and DVDs to make a tiny bit more.
I'm taking commissions to try to pay for my textbook for my last class(which Erik bought and I have to pay him back) and at least my computer shipment cost.
So far I have (3) $20, and (1) $35 commissions on the way. I just have to get the sketches done and approved. Sadly HALF of that money went buy my textbook -____-
Hopefully my dad can send me enough money to cover the shipping costs for everything else.
Prince Nuada = AWESOME
On another note:
Im starting to freak out a little. I have a month before I leave and Im going to have to go threw my books, art stuff, and DVD/games and try to sell off some of them. It sucks but I need to cut down the amount of shit I need to send home.
Im estimating the computer alone is going to cost $120 or more.
And this week Im going to get all my clothes, art stuff, books, and DVD etc. together and hopefully get it boxed.... at least mostly boxed.
I only have $41 to buy boxes and tape. So Im going to try selling off some books and DVDs to make a tiny bit more.
I'm taking commissions to try to pay for my textbook for my last class(which Erik bought and I have to pay him back) and at least my computer shipment cost.
So far I have (3) $20, and (1) $35 commissions on the way. I just have to get the sketches done and approved. Sadly HALF of that money went buy my textbook -____-
Hopefully my dad can send me enough money to cover the shipping costs for everything else.
Friday, July 18, 2008
So.... everything is pretty crazy
Made the decision to move back to Ny after 2 years of living in California. It will terminate my relationship of 3 years, but it has taught me what is most important in life. I only have one mother, father, sister and nephew. I want to cherish them..... so I'm going back.
It hurts to think about not being with Erik, because 3 years is a long time. Especially when 2 and a half of those years was spent living together.
So... with family and friends in mind, I decided being way out in San Diego just wasnt for me. I had no friends, couldnt find a job and I was... pretty miserable if I'm 100% truthful with myself. I love Erik, and always will. I care about him and his family, where he goes and what he does with his life and talents. Hell, maybe without me around he'll realize how lonely it is being 3000 miles away from every friend and family you have.
On the plus side I'll have my family and what few friends will take me back, I'll be single again, but that wont be too big of a hassle. In fact I'm almost looking forward to it. Letting my OCD take a hold of me and plan how Im going to decorate my apartment once I find that job and car lol. I think I'll enjoy having a place thats all my own for a while. In no rush to replace Eriks place in my social life. He was a giant part of me and I want to learn how to be on my own 100% before I think about dating seriously again.
Well.... I think thats all for now. Check my video bar! Its got kick ass metal and other kinds of REALLY GOOD MUSIC. I'll add more to it later. MOST OF IT IS METAL.... but you can at least understand the singers... I dont really get into it if I cant decipher the lyrics easily lol
....damn I go a little bit carried away with the music section of my profile lmao!
Talk to ya soon!
It hurts to think about not being with Erik, because 3 years is a long time. Especially when 2 and a half of those years was spent living together.
So... with family and friends in mind, I decided being way out in San Diego just wasnt for me. I had no friends, couldnt find a job and I was... pretty miserable if I'm 100% truthful with myself. I love Erik, and always will. I care about him and his family, where he goes and what he does with his life and talents. Hell, maybe without me around he'll realize how lonely it is being 3000 miles away from every friend and family you have.
On the plus side I'll have my family and what few friends will take me back, I'll be single again, but that wont be too big of a hassle. In fact I'm almost looking forward to it. Letting my OCD take a hold of me and plan how Im going to decorate my apartment once I find that job and car lol. I think I'll enjoy having a place thats all my own for a while. In no rush to replace Eriks place in my social life. He was a giant part of me and I want to learn how to be on my own 100% before I think about dating seriously again.
Well.... I think thats all for now. Check my video bar! Its got kick ass metal and other kinds of REALLY GOOD MUSIC. I'll add more to it later. MOST OF IT IS METAL.... but you can at least understand the singers... I dont really get into it if I cant decipher the lyrics easily lol
....damn I go a little bit carried away with the music section of my profile lmao!
Talk to ya soon!
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